The
first thing to understand is the great gift that sex is. It's a wonderful,
joyous gift that should be celebrated fully between married couples. Limiting
sex out of fear and confusion is a very negative Christian life to live, and
certainly the kind of married life not intended by God.
A
large part of being married is intimacy. And if you limit that part of your
marriage you are not respecting the beauty, commitment, dedication, and given
pleasures that define a true Christian marriage.
So
you can see the importance of not only practicing the great gift of sex, but
practicing it frequently and without any guilt or confusion.
You
will find that most sexual acts (oral, anal, and varying positions) are
generally considered as acceptable between a married man and woman.
You
will also find that the number one issue which is NOT allowed within a Christian marriage during the performance of
sex is pornography. Now there may be marital sex aids in the form of visual
instruction which are designed to provide couples with proper technique and
form. These are naturally acceptable as they aid in the sexual safety and
proper pleasuring satisfaction of the married couple. It is the blatant, over
the top pornography which focuses not on sex as love, but sex as a casual act
for the sole purpose of pleasure with (usually) a stranger that is unacceptable.
There
is a very simple and straight forward way to know if any sexual intimacy within
a Christian marriage is acceptable or not. As a couple, ask yourselves the
following questions:
Are We Practicing Physically Safe Sex?
Is There Any Harm Involved?
This
is very important. You want to create intimacy which is safe for both you and
your loving partner. Doing things that create an obvious danger within your
intimacy should not be acceptable.
Some
Christians will get into marital intimacy aids such as sex toys to improve
their pleasure. Oils, lotions, lubricants and such are absolutely fine.
However, bringing-in outside objects leads to greater experimentation with
things that clearly can pose a risk or a potential discomfort to you or your
loving partner.
Is Your Sexual Practice Agreeable To One Another?
Your
intimacy should be of mutual enjoyment. Your positions should be agreed upon
and not cause harm to one another. Perhaps the husband greatly enjoys a
particular position, one that the wife cringes at and feels uncomfortable
performing because of the discomfort it brings. This position should not be
allowed, or it needs to be greatly adjusted so as not to cause any harm to the
other.
Is Your Sex Very Enjoyable?
This
is the third question that often times gets left out of the discussion when it
comes to Christian sex. There is so much focus on "what is allowed"
and "what is not allowed", that the idea of an amazing, enjoyable sex
life suddenly becomes forgotten. But this is the most important key! This is an
act of Holy celebration between two loving, committed, Christian individuals
and to stop short of having a tremendous sex life should not be accepted!
Practice
having the best intimate life you can. Understand that it is a gift that you
should cherish and partake in as often as is possible. You should also learn,
study, and practice different ways to sexually please each other as to make
your intimacy as extremely enjoyable as possible!
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